You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
