OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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