Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
