Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
