i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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