That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
