I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
