I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
