You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
