What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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