I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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