I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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