I want to make a zoo with you.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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