My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize