Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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