his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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