his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
