I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
