big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
