I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
