I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
