i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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