wake up i wanna do it froggy style
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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