The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize