just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
