she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
