You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
