Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
