Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize