kristin has been a bad kristin
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
