She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
