We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
