his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
