i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
