Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
