Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
