I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
