who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
