Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All the doctor said was why
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
