I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
