Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
