i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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