Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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