Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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