we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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