First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize