what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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