we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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