At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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