No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
