she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
