apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
