Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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