i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
