Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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