marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Found the puke drawer
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
