Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
