Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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