Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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