I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
