it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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