Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
