i think my tv is drunk
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
