the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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