Ambien. No doubt about it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
