Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
