i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
