Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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