he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
