The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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