Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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