That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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