dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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