she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
