The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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