perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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