Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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