My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
