you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
