apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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