Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
