I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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