Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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